“I resented my ex-wife so much but I needed to see my kids…”

Our relationship had become extremely volatile and it got the point where we had to separate, despite the three children we shared together. Initially, I was granted custody of the kids, and they were able to have contact with their Mother under supervision at the Voice of the Child’s centre. This was all going well until I told the kids a couple of things about their Mother that I felt I should share with them privately, but kids will be kids and they told their Mother. I was accused in court of making false allegations against her, and the kids were taken away from me. I was absolutely devastated.

I applied to have supervised contact with my children, and it was granted to ensure all communication was positive between us. Things were going really well, and I was even able to have some of my own 1-1 sessions with the VOC support workers to understand why it is harmful to discuss negative or inappropriate things with the kids. I learnt to understand that my feelings towards their Mother were my own feelings, and not something the children should be made aware of. My own feelings of anger and conflict are for myself only to deal with. And I’m happy to say with their help, I did.

Contact time with the kids was amazing, and our bond continued to grow naturally. We spent a lot of time together at the centre as their Mother would visit a different one in order for us to have space. Unfortunately, things got pretty tough financially and I was unable to keep up with the costs of the sessions. My time with kids became sporadic, and this really frustrated me, however, I put on a brave face and thoroughly enjoyed my time with my children. Sadly, I concluded that I was no longer able to fund any further sessions with the kids at VOC, and hoped they would decide to come to me on their own accord, whenever they felt ready. VOC explained that they were unable to offer any further concession as their own resources are stretched as it is. I completely understood this, and hope in the future to be able to support them again.

I was able to have one last session with the kids where I could explain to them that I would not be seeing them for a while. I told them as we cried how much I loved them and that I’d be thinking of them every day until I could see them again. Despite the circumstances, I am still so grateful to VOC for the memories I experienced with my children, and one day hope to resume our sessions once more.

Mr Wills’ Family, told by Mr Wills, 46, 2018