“Our communication broke down, and so did our family…”

After my ex-partner and I split, we found it impossible to agree on how to split time with the children. At one point, I spent a whole week with the kids as we were having such a wonderful time, but as there had been such a miscommunication, their Mother chose to move away and ban all contact from me. It was heartbreaking and there was nothing I could do.

I did not see my children for seven months. I couldn’t speak to them or even have the chance to explain to them why we couldn’t see each other. It broke my heart each day that went by without hearing their little voices. I missed them so much that I practically begged the courts to let me gain access to the kids. I was granted fortnightly supervised Contact at Voice of the Child.

I will never forget the moment I saw them again. The moment came to a standstill as none of us knew what to do except run at each other, embrace in tight squeezes and a huge bundle of tears. We had missed each other so much; you could just feel it amongst the cuddles.

Sadly, after the first Contact, I was informed that Oscar (my youngest) was having trouble sleeping and had starting bedwetting. We worked together with VOC to help him deal with his distress and reassured him that there will always be the next time in two weeks. He often clung to me like glue, and the support
 workers were brilliant at intervening just when we needed it most. 

After a while, Contact became a very positive experience, and Susie also began to talk more. She had been far quieter than Oscar throughout our Contact sessions, and it was so wonderful to see her opening up again. Goodbyes were never easy, however, VOC soon orchestrated their Mother and I’s first direct meeting at the centre. This was a very positive experience as the kids were able to see us come together in a neutral, calm environment. That’s when things really changed.

Eventually, we were able to agree independently on handovers, and have since worked out a friendship amongst the once chaotic relationship we had. Thank you Voice of the Child, what you do is truly amazing.

Mr Ray’s Family, told by Mr Ray, 42, 2018